Monday, May 28, 2007

Kelsey (Holy Mama!) is writing a book and is asking for what she calls "book research". She wants to know if anyone has ever had to have their ring cut off by medical personel. Here is what I emailed her:


I had only been home from the hospital about a week from giving birth to my second child. I was home alone with a 2 year old and a newborn. Hubs was at work in another town about 30 minutes away. I was getting dressed for the day and saw my wedding rings in my jewelry box and decided that most of my pregnancy "swelling" had gone down and it would be safe to put them back on. (I guess I should tell you that I had gained 70 pounds!!!! during my pregnancy thanks to daily trips to Sonic for fries and a hot fudge sunday. My fingers had started to swell around my 4th month so I had to take them off then, which mortified my mom every time I saw her. "People are going to think you're not married and have two kids out of wed-lock!" she would tell me. Sorry ma.) So I see the rings in my jewelry box and remember what my mom kept telling me so I put them on, all three rings (the actual wedding ring and two bands). As soon as I put them on I knew I shouldn't have. What was I thinking!?!?My fingers still looked like fat little sausages. I knew I needed to get them off NOW!
So I start calmly but gently tugging away. That didn't work. I grab a bottle of lotion, lather my entire arm in it and pull. Again nothing. Only now my finger is turning a deep reddish color. So I run downstairs into the kitchen and grab a bottle of dish soap and douse my finger in it and try twisting and turning those cursed rings! They aren't gonna budge. By now my 2 year old watching my with big eyes and the baby is crying and hungry, wanting to nurse. And now my finger is a weird shade of purpley-red. And it's sorta numb. And I cannot see the bands on the underside of my fingers. And my entire hand is throbbing. I start to panic. I called my husband. "Cut it off" he says. I know we do not own anything strong enough to cut a ring off, besides some hedge clippers. Haha No way. So the only thing I can think to do is load my 2 year old (who is still in mis-matched p.j.'s, with wild hair and a dirty face from breakfast) and a screaming hungry newborn, who needs a diaper change, into the car and drive myself to the E.R.
I make it there in less than 5 minutes and march in there with my crew and plop my fat purple finger up on the counter and tell them I need to see a doctor. NOW. I sign my name on the paper and continue to just stand there. Waiting. Surprisingly they take me back right away. I'm not sure if it was because I had a "true" emergency or because my 2 year old and newborn were screaming their heads off. The triage nurse looks and my finger and had the nerve to ask me what happened. Well, duh! Can't you see that I tried to put my rings on when I knew they were still too fat?? By now I am in tears too. It hurt. and I was scared. She takes me to a room 2 seconds later a dr. comes in with some tools. He takes my hand and proceeds to bend my now very dark purpled finger back so he can see where the rings are. OOWWWWCHH! He then pushes this tool up under my ring and it clamps down hard on the ring and then SNAP. He pries the first one off my finger. And then he does it two more times. Finally some relief. But I still couldn't feel my finger and it was still purple. The dr. reassured me that the feeling should come back with in an hour but it might be bruised for a while. I fed and changed the baby before we left the hospital and then we drove home. I called my hubs (and a few other people) and told them about my day. Everyone laughed their heads off at me. I didn't see what was so funny. I lost my wedding rings and almost my finger. I didn't see the humor in any of it. My finger stayed bruised and sore for almost 2 weeks. I had some broken blood vessels that were pretty gross looking but other than that, I was fine. I got my rings fixed but it was another 8 months before I would try them on. My mom just had to get over the fact that I looked like I had two kids out of wedlock.

1 comment:

Perri said...

Ouch - see, I wouldn't have been laughing at that. I know it had to have hurt!